University of Tennessee Jokes:

Q.How do we know DEFINITIVELY that the toothbrush was invented at UT science labs?
A.If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a TEETHBRUSH.

A lady in Knoxville calls 911. Hysterically, she says, ‘Someone’s
just broken into my house, and I think he’s going to rob me!’ The
police officer says, ‘Ma’am, we’re really busy at the moment. Just
get the guy’s jersey number and we’ll get back to you.’

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Knoxville?
A: A huddle

Q: Four Tennessee players are in a car, who’s driving?
A: The police

Q: Why can’t most of the UT players get into a huddle on the field?
A: It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.

The University of Tennessee team has adopted a new Honor System:
‘Yes, your Honor; No, your Honor’.
The Volunteers are hoping for an undefeated season next year….
12 Arrests, 0 convictions.

Q: How did the Volunteers spend the first week of Spring practice?
A: Studying their Miranda rights.

Q:How do you get a UT grad off your porch?
A:Pay him for the pizza.

 

University of Tennessee Jokes – Little Janie is NOT a Tennessee Fan

A first grade teacher in Knoxville, Tennessee, explained to her

class that she was a Tennessee fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if
they, too, were Tennessee fans. Everyone in the class raised their hand
except for one little girl.

The teacher looked at the little girl with surprise and said, “Janie,
why didn’t you raise your hand?”

“Because I am not an Tennessee fan, ” she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, “Well, if you are not a Tennessee
fan, what kind of a fan are you?”

“I’m a Memphis fan, ” Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. “Janie, WHY are you a
Memphis fan?”

“Because my mom is a Memphis fan, my dad is a Memphis
fan, so I am a Memphis fan also.”

“Well, ” said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, “that is no
reason for you to be a Memphis fan. You don’t have to be just like
your parents all the time. What if your mom was a snotty, arrogant jackwad and your dad was a snotty, arrogant jackwad, what would you be then?”

“Then, ” Janie smiled, “We’d be Tennessee fans.”

 

Q:What do you say to a Tennessee football player in a suit and tie?
A:”Would the defendant please rise?”

 

The reason UT wears orange is so they can deer hunt in the morning, go to the game in the afternoon and pick up aluminum cans on the highway at night and not have to change clothes.

 

Nu’Keese Richardson Joke

I heard today that the Capital One Bowl originally wanted the University of Tennessee. The reason was they wanted to do a commercial with Nu’Keese Richardson holding a gun saying “What’s in your wallet!”.

 

University of Tennessee Joke – Rocky Top, Tennessee

Two Americans are overseas, and about to be executed.
One is a Tennessee Vol fan, and of course the other is a Memphis Tiger fan.
As they are standing in front of the firing squad, they are asked for their finals requests.
The Vol fans speaks up first. “Before I die, I’d like to hear Rocky Top, Tennessee one more time.”
The Tiger’s fan looks at the commander, and says “Shoot me first.”