I have nothing against the University of Kentucky’s Basketball team. They have the best team money can buy.
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Did you hear about the wildcat fan that got carpet installed in his bathroom? Yeah, he liked it so much that next summer he’s going to get it run all the way up to the house!
University of Kentucky Jokes – One Liners
Q:Know a Kentuckian’s favorite part about Halloween and Thanksgiving?
Q.How do we know DEFINITIVELY that the toothbrush was invented at UT science labs?
A.If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a TEETHBRUSH.
Q: How Did The Kentucky Football Quarterback Die Drinking Milk?
A: The Cow Sat On Him
Q: What’s the difference between a KY cheerleader and a
A: One stinks and has whiskers, and the other one is a fish.
Q:Why do UK Grads display their UK degrees on the dashboards of their cars?
A:So they can park in the handicapped zone.
Q:How do you catch a Kentucky Player?
A:You follow him around real quiet like, and then, when he bends down to take a drink you slam the toilet seat lid down on his head.
Kentucky Joke – Sheep Daddy
A man was driving down a country road in Lexington and saw this farmer having sex with a sheep! He went to the house and banged on the door… a young woman answered the door, and the man said, “There’s this farmer having sex with a sheep over there by the barn!”. The young woman said “That’s my da-aa-aa-aa-aa-dy”
Kentucky Joke – Make Room For The Mule
A Tennessee Vol was visiting a farm in Kentucky when he came upon two men sawing slots above the barn door. He asked the men what they were doing. They told him that every time the mules came in they hit their ears. The Volunteer told them
to just dig out from under the door, then he left. The Kentuckians said, “That is just like a damnVolunteer! The mules ears are to long, not their legs.”
Kentucky Joke – Nativity Scene
Some Kentuckians were setting up a naivity scene for Christmas Eve church services. The Hoosier minister walked by and said, “That nativity scene looks pretty good, but why are the three wise men wearing firefighters’ hats?” “Don’t you know nothin’ about the Bible?” one of the Kentuckians asked. “Scripture says, ‘The wise men came from AFAR!'”
Kentucky Joke – The War Between Tennessee and Kentucky
Person 1: “Did you hear about the war between Tennessee and Kentucky?”
Person 2: “No, what happened?”
Person 1: “The Kentuckians started throwing bombs to Tennessee and we lit them and threw them back!”
Kentucky Joke – The Trapped Wolf
On the border of Kentucky and Tennessee there’s a small forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Kentucky farmer, while the other half belongs to a Tennessee man. One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee man comes across a wolf caught in a trap. He rushes back to his house and calls his Kentucky neighbor.
“There’s one of your wolves caught in a trap on my side of the forest.”
“How do you know it’s one of our wolves?” the Kentucky farmer asked.
Well, the Tennessee man replied, he’s already chewed off three of his legs and he’s still trapped.
University of Kentucky Joke – Dressing For The UT Game
Word on the street….KY coaches will only dress 20 players for the TN game. The rest of the players will have to dress themselves!
University of Kentucky Joke – The 1st Grade
Q: What’s long and hard on a Kentucky football player?
A: First grade
How do you keep a Kentucky fan in suspense?
Kentucky Joke – The Jigsaw Puzzle
Two Kentuckians enter a bar and start celebrating and buying drinks for everyone. “What’s the occasion?” asks the bartender. “We just finished working a jigsaw puzzle! It only took us three months!” One of them answered. “Three months” scoffed the bartender, “It should have only taken about two days.” “Oh yeah!” said one of them, “The box said four to six years!”
What do they call “Hee Haw” in Alabama?
What do they call it in Kentucky?
Life Styles of the Rich & Famous.
Q: How do you know when you’re staying in a Kentucky hotel?
A: When you call the front desk and say “I’ve gotta leak in my sink” and the person at the front desk says “go ahead.”